The Art & Poetry of Mary Coleman

I can put my braids up across my head now. My hair is just long enough to do it. My goal is to get my hair long enough to wrap my braids around my head like a crown. I’ve not dyed it since I cut off all the damaged areas about a year and a half ago, and I get regular trims for split ends, so right now it’s really healthy and thick (it’s grown to right above my chest). My mom had really thick hair and I got it from her. It hasn’t thinned with age and hers didn’t either. Ideally I’d like to grow it out as long as I can get it to be. I always vowed in my middle and old age to have long hair and to not get it cut. Most women cut their hair short when they get older. All my friends have. I don’t understand it, you can do so much more with long hair and it’s really easy to throw it in a bun if you don’t want to take time to do something fancy.

My hair is still light blonde, but I’m getting white hairs intermixed. I’m glad I’m not going grey. White hair is prettier in my opinion.

I’m trying to accept the fact that I’m aging and am now at the midpoint of my life (if I even live to 80). It’s harder for women than men. Society is harsh on older women.

My grandmother lived to 102 and my great aunt to 106 but the former spent the last 12 years of her life in a nursing home and the latter the last 20 years. I do not want to go to a nursing home and if I get dementia like they did, at the early stages I’m checking out. They were about 90 when their memory started going. If I can live happily in my own house until I’m 90, that’s more than enough life for me.

It’s really a crap shoot with me because I have longevity on one side and on the other side people die in their 50’s and 60’s. My dad wouldn’t have died if he hadn’t ignored his prostate cancer to the point it spread (he knew he had it and did nothing). If he had got it treated early, like my uncle did, he would be alive now. It’s his side that lives to the triple digits. My mom had ovarian cancer and died at 63. Her father died of a heart attack in his 60’s (after also battling cancer) and her mother of breast cancer in her early 60’s. My sister died in her early 50’s of the same cancer my mom had. So yeah, it’s a toss of the dice if I get cancer or heart disease from my mom’s side, or longevity and good health from my dad’s side. People don’t live long enough on my mom’s side to get dementia.