The Art & Poetry of Mary Coleman

So today I finished a poem I started yesterday and I did a new oil pastel. I’m not as big of a fan of this picture as I was of yesterday’s but it’s okay. Not bad. I don’t think I’m being as experimental with smudging as I’d like to get yet. Tomorrow I am going to try a circular motion and really get in there with the smudging stick.

So as far as my New Year’s resolutions go I’m on track. I have been eating an improved diet and fasting during the daytime for around 2 weeks. I did have a cheat day on Sunday, but I got back to normal eating right after that on Monday. Eating one large, nutritious meal a day really is the ticket for me. Coffee and tea during the daytime. I have sort of lapsed on my long walks, but I plan to get back to that tomorrow.

As for ridding myself of panic attacks, it’s been since last Tuesday since I had a significant panic attack. I did take a lorazepam before going to a movie on Sunday because I didn’t want to have a panic attack while sitting in a movie theater and movie theaters are a big trigger for me. I hadn’t taken lorazepam for a week and a half before that so I have been avoiding it enough not to build up a tolerance. I try not to take it if I can help it unless I am in a situation where I don’t have time or a place to practice my coping skills (like when I am sitting in a movie theater or when I have friends over to visit). Mostly I can get through my panic attacks without lorazepam now which is a huge improvement. My panic attacks are less severe and shorter too. I need to practice more exposure therapy so on Wednesday I am going to go on a 20 minute walk in the afternoon and raising my heart rate in the afternoon is generally a trigger for a panic attack. I’m trying to start out with a short walk and work up to longer walks because it would be nice to be able to exercise in the afternoon for a change.

I have been posting on Instagram but haven’t tried building up my audience quite yet. I will start working on that in February. I’m trying to introduce my various New Year’s resolutions gradually. I will also start working on formatting my book and editing it in February with the hope to be self publishing by March or April.