The Art & Poetry of Mary Coleman

So I am still painting self portraits, but I’m trying not to share them with anyone because my perfectionistic anxiety came back after I shared last time. It became really miserable to paint again and I avoided doing it for several days. I need to not have any expectations of myself and mainly that is the high expectations based around how a painting looks for other people. I need them to be “good” for an audience and I fear taking chances because of it. So yeah, I’m back to just painting privately and not sharing until I feel less anxiety around art making again. Really frustrated the anxiety came back full force.

Here are some poems I wrote recently…

Early morning when the world outside is quiet and still. I like to see the sunrise and hear the birds start to sing outside. It’s the best time of day. I used to be a night owl, but in the past 10 years I’ve switched to an early bedtime and an early rise.

My intentions this week are to follow my four core values as closely as I can and to not spend any money (besides on necessities). Here are my 4 core values as a reminder:

1. Creativity – do something creative every day.
2. Take care of my body and mind – this includes eating an anti-inflammatory diet to improve my osteoarthritis, losing weight for the same reason (although I base it on clothing fit and not the scale), and exercising regularly. This week I would like to do 3 runs (including one long run because I’m training for a half marathon) and two days of strength training.
3. Kindness towards myself and others – this includes meditation (10 minute loving kindness meditation focused on kind thoughts towards others and 10 minutes of mindful silence), a 20 minute dog walk where I practice mindfulness (so 30 minutes of mindfulness a day), keeping up a self compassion practice, doing nice things for others when I can, and a kind letter to myself daily.
4. Following a routine – I would like to follow a routine incorporating my three previous core values for as many days as I can (a little bit more relaxed on weekends) so that I can establish it as habit. This includes a morning, mid-day, and evening routine in anticipation of having a work schedule when I get a job. I’d like to get the bulk of my intentions done early in the morning, in the evening, and a few at lunchtime.